If APIs were food

2006-11-14 11:28:48 -08:00

  • Cocoa: Who doesn’t like chocolate? Sweet and yummy.
  • Java: Sort of like Cocoa, except not sweet and chocolatey. Not nearly as good as Cocoa. Alternate by Michael Buckley: Tastes extremely bitter, but many people are addicted to it.
  • Carbon: Ew, coal.
  • GTK (GNOME): Tough and gristly.
  • Win32 (Windows): The glass will cut up your mouth, esophagus, and gastrointestinal tract. Some talented people can safely eat glass, but they are rare.
  • Toolbox: *clank*
  • .NET: Stringy.
  • Mono: I’m not sure exactly what virus tastes like. Nor whether I want to find out. Alternate by Joshua Lock: Eating monkeys is a little too close to cannibalism for my liking.
  • Python: Very lean.
  • Perl: Hard.
  • Ruby: Just like Perl.
  • Haskell: I think he might object before you were able to get around to the business of eating him.
  • Io: You’d have to be mighty hungry to eat a Jovian moon. Alternate: Hamburger! Always good.

Any others?

(The above is an original work by me, Peter Hosey. I say this because I know how jokes tend to lose their attributions over time.)

UPDATE 12:12: No, people, it’s about food! Read the title!

UPDATE 12:43: Expanded Io. Thanks, Colin!

UPDATE 2006-11-15 02:30: Added Michael Buckley’s suggestion to Java. Thanks!

5 Responses to “If APIs were food”

  1. Joshua Lock Says:

    How about Qt: looks aren’t everything?

    It’s pronounced cute you see …

    OK, maybe not

  2. Colin Barrett Says:

    Actually, in Greek mythology, Io was a cow (that Zeus fooled around with). Cows are extremely delicious.

  3. Michael Buckley Says:

    I know you already have an entry for Java, but mine would be: “Tastes extremely bitter, but many people are addicted to it.”

  4. Joshua Lock Says:

    Mono: eating monkeys is a little too close to cannibalism for my liking.


  5. Spongebob Tesseractpants Says:

    POSIX: You know, when you get right down to it, most everything pretty much tastes like chicken.

    Linux Standard Base: Of course, chicken is better with strawberry chilli sauce. Oh, and those little aluminumy balls from cake decorations. And some squid. Mustn’t forget the squid.

    WINE: Hey? You want windscreen glass sprinklies on your aluminum ball strawberry chilli chicken squid?

    X11: Say… this doesn’t really look like the picture in the menu… And it’s been exposed way, way too long…

    AmigaOS exec.library: Whaddaya mean, you don’t want your spaghetti bolognese in the middle of your lemon tart? It’s more efficient that way! Saves a whole course!

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