Alternatives to “guys”

2015-06-19 05:30:36 UTC

When you’re addressing a mixed-gender or unknown-gender group, you should not use the word “guys”.

(Everything in this post also applies to “dudes” and “fellows”, and the singulars of all three. For example, “the IT guy”.)

The word refers to people who are male. It doesn’t matter what you meant by it in a particular instance, or how you as an individual tend to use it: That is what it means. That is what it conveys. That is what people hear when you say it.

As Julia Evans found, different usages vary in how they’re received, and there’s almost always a difference by gender. You’re more likely to think “guys” is gender-neutral if you’re a guy.

When you use it to address people of mixed or unknown gender, you reinforce the idea of male-as-default: This masculine word can refer to anybody! Funny how that doesn’t work for feminine words.

When you use it to address people of mixed or unknown gender, you erase the non-male people in the audience: Everybody here is guys! There’s nobody else here, no non-guys at all, no, sir.

So stop it. Stop saying “guys”.

(Except, of course, when you really do mean a group entirely of guys, like a men’s sport team.)

You may think it’s perfectly normal. It’s common, and that’s different. “Normal” implies healthy, and this isn’t healthy.

If you start paying attention, it won’t sound so “normal” after all, once you start noticing every time somebody refers to people who aren’t all guys as guys.

You might think “OK, I’ll say ‘guys and girls’ or ‘ladies and gentlemen’ instead.” Don’t do that. That does not include everybody: There are more than two genders, and not everybody inhabits any of them.

We can do better than that. We can include everybody.

So, what should you say instead?

These are words and phrases that include rather than exclude. That acknowledge rather than erase.

If you have other alternatives to suggest, please do suggest them in the comments.

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